So, in my summer of discovery, I have already learned that the internet is full of lies and a fancy website does not mean a fancy lesson barn. Undeterred, I continued my search and after a recommendation from another riding friend, I went ahead and scheduled a lesson with someone I will only refer to as The Fancy Hunter Trainer. Now. I will say the lesson was great. Really great. I'm a visual learner and I got some great feedback on ways to visualize outside rein connection, shaping turns, etc. Tbh, it was worth the money I paid for the lesson. But that isn't what this post is about. This is about a specific convo that occurred after my second lesson. I was commenting on another rider that I got to watch prior to my lesson. I commented on what a good rider she was with a clear connection with her horse... and the Fancy Hunter Trainer replied ... "You'd be that good too, if you were thinner" Um. What? "It is a lot of weight to throw around when you get off balance up there. It would help". Now, one of the reasons I got back into riding was to do a form of exercise that I enjoy. Equestrians are athletes, no doubt-- even those of us that don't mean the standard for what a rider should look like. But I don't need to be told by a trainer (who is heavier than me) that I need to lose weight. And my riding skill has nothing to do with the number on my scale, but the number of months I've been back in the saddle. I brushed it off and thought it was a good thing I'd never take from her again, but her comment has really burrowed a hole in a my brain. When I was trying on show clothes, I was thinking of that comment. When I see photos of me riding, I think of that comment. How annoying that a stupid rude sentence has lodged itself in my brain! My trainer and I have talked about it extensively and I am thankful that she continuously puts an emphasis on FITNESS not FATNESS. She reminds me how far I have come on an athletic level since I started riding and encourages me not to get discouraged when snide comments sneak into my brain. There's a lot of bru-haha in the eq world about plus sized riders. What is the "right size". What is healthy for the horse. And I'm not trying weigh in (ha) on that. What I'm trying to say is that we, as adult riders, need to be supporting each other and building each other up. Not tearing each other down. The Plaid Horse just launched a great body positive shirt that I am in LOVE with and cannot wait to purchase. If you'd like to get one of your own-- click here.
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So I can't believe it has been a month since I last wrote a post. Actually, I can. But I promise to do better. I have a few blog posts written and scheduled for this week, so please don't give up on us! When I last posted, I was in the process of writing about my journey to find a barn home while I was away from my real barn for work... my adventures sat in the 'drafts' section for a while, but all three are now written and will be posted throughout this week! Please note, I am being intentionally vague in this post as I believe it is my personal experience and I'm not here to shame anyone but humorously tell my tale of wtf.
The area I was working this summer is very horse heavy, but more Western than English. So finding an English barn was difficult, and finding a hunter/jumper barn was almost impossible. After what I thought was a pretty exhaustive internet and facebook search, I had put out feelers to multiple barns that either had english lessons or english horses available for lease. The first to reply was a small barn in the vicinity of where I was working. The owner didn't really "do" lessons, but there was a horse I could lease. The barn owner offered to let me come try the horse while I was on a work trip and that they would also stick around and offer pointers and give an example of a lesson with them (even though they didn't really do lessons anymore, so they said). The barn's website was beautiful, professional, and full of accolades. It was, in a word, slick. Beautiful facilities, beautiful horses, beautiful anything and everything. I was stoked. What I found however was not was the internet offered (cue: blog title). Here's a short list of things that occurred during my time at this barn (1 hour) that I am still confused about to this day.
Yes, I paid $85 for a lesson on a horse that hadn't been ridden in a month, to be completely flummoxed and question my ability as not only a rider but a human capable of understanding direction. I paid $85 to be confused, over a month later, about what I experience. I... just.... sigh. I did not return to that mounting block. Next post: I find a fancy hunter trainer... and everything was great until it wasn't. -M |
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